Game names: Unnecessarily long with unnecessary colons -.

There is power in a name. Especially a game name. In this current oversaturated game industry, where it’s harder than ever to get people to buy and play a game, even if you’re a AAA titan, a name can be a big part of attracting an audience. Atomfall, Split Fiction, Astro Bot. These are all recent titles that not only tell you what you’re in for, but do so in a precise, simple way. These are game names that don’t make you feel like you have to say bless you when someone mentions them.

On the other hand, we have something like Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet. Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet. A whopping 11 syllables that nearly made me spit out my sample at 4 a.m. last year while watching The Game Awards. From Naughty Dog, no less. Come on guys, what are we doing here?

However, this is not just Naughty Dog coming up with an unnecessary mouthful of a title, and regardless of the quality of the game, I can think of more than a few examples that really exhaust a title, adding a useless colon to break up a group of words strung together that have no meaning. St. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, Lost Records: Bloom & Rage, Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, Tales of Kenzera: Zau, Lynked: Banner of the Spark and more all come as a slap in the face when you hear them announced or read them on a store page, and I think it’s time we all took a look at the word count of some of these titles and decided if we could kill a few darlings.

I’m not against including a colon in a title. Of course, for an established IP like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or Warhammer, you have to bring out the big name before telling people what they are getting into. Even sequels can sometimes get a pass, but even here we see a few recent offenders. Kingdom Come: Deliverance II, for example, and Death Stranding 2: On the Beach. Kojima always gets a pass because he is Kojima, but we don’t really need both the “2” and “On the Beach,” because at that point we are told twice that it is a different game from the original. With Kingdom Come, the first game was called Kingdom Come: Deliverance, with which the sequel was going to be called Kingdom Come: Something Else. Instead, we just get Deliverance again with a different number on it, completely invalidating the need for the colon before Deliverance in the first game.

This is really nitpicking, and like I said, it really doesn’t affect game quality, but it’s interesting (at least to me) to see how overly long names and unnecessary colons are becoming more of a trend. There are, of course, a few reasons for this. For example, it’s hard to find a unique name in today’s gaming world, which I empathize with, but you can still keep a name short with a colon, or give the potential audience fewer words to generally remember. Black Myth: Wukong is a good example of this, which still has a colon, but feels like it has earned it and is only three words to remember, the most important of which is after the colon.

Why did Naughty Dog choose the hideously named offender of Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet? Well, it seems to largely come down to the future of this IP. Geoff Keighley introduced this game as the first in a Naughty Dog franchise, which means we will likely have Intergalactic: The Something Something in the future, as well as a few other titles. However, this is the same as calling the first Uncharted game Uncharted: The First One or adding the Part One piece of The Last of Us upon its release in 2013. It makes no sense and doesn’t leave the intrigue of the original title with you. Uncharted and The Last of Us are all-timers for gaming, and yet this feels like a real stumble, for a world and game that otherwise seems so interesting.

Again, this is not just Intergalactic’s problem. Who is Clair? Why is she obscure? What the hell is a Banner of the Spark? Why do you have to tell us this is Zau’s story when there are no other Tales of Kenzera? Am I playing as Bloom or Rage? I’m a little crazy here, sure, but whoever is in the ether to make some of these titles should really sit back and think about whether it’s worth informing people that this is part of a franchise that isn’t a franchise yet, or whether they should just give them a cool title first so they have a slightly better chance of selling enough to make those franchise dreams come true.

I haven’t mentioned yet the overly long names you sometimes get with anime titles, JRPGs and others, because that’s just an important part of the genre right now. I should also point out that certain titles can give me the ick without even a colon and while it’s only one word. Returnal remained my worst title in recent memory, despite being an absolutely fantastic game until Intergalactic came along. Then again, as long as the games are good, the title doesn’t really matter. Maybe instead of seeing less length and fat casings, we can see more, and it won’t be long before I get an aneurysm when TGA 2027 reveals Metal Man: The Man Who Was Made of Metal: And also Some Skin and Bones and Flesh.

What is your least favorite game title?