Detroit: Behind Enemy Lines

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After a series with the lowly Twins in which the Royals struggled, but ultimately took two of the three games, their place atop the AL central seems to be in jeopardy. They currently have a tenuous hold on a one and a half game lead, but there is reason to believe that they can, in fact, hang on (if Bruce Chen isn’t pitching too often).

As a native Missourian that has been transplanted, against my will, into a suburb of Detroit, I have no choice but to listen to the enemy’s sports radio programming during my daily commute. Although the personalities are smug and condescending, lately, I have really enjoyed listening to it. They were in full panic mode the day Anibal Sanchez went to the DL, and this week they have been relegated to senseless whining and finger-pointing. I wish all Royals fans could enjoy listening to their doom and gloom projections, but for brevity’s sake, here is a list of their main talking points this week:

(Please note, the opinions below are those of the Detroit area sports radio personalities, not mine.)

(My opinion?  The city of Detroit, baseball team included, is a trash heap. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen a single fountain here. What kind of people don’t appreciate fountains?)

· Anibal Sanchez is done for the year after a recent setback

· Justin Verlander, for all intents and purposes, is done for the year, possibly longer

· The Tigers have no chance to win on days that Buck Farmer is pitching

· The Tigers have no chance to win on days that Robbie Ray is pitching

· There are no other viable starting pitching options on the roster

· The rotation is now Price, Scherzer, Porcello, Loss , Loss

· Brad Ausmus is an arrogant numbskull and should be fired immediately

· Trading away Austin Jackson has had a bigger impact than expected

· The Tigers absolutely will NOT make the playoffs

Although the Royals and Tigers are only separated by a game and a half, I have to imagine the mood is considerably more optimistic in the home of the world’s best barbecue than it is in the city that is famous for vacant buildings and violent crime.

-Robert Wells

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Author: Robert Wells

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